Friendship Circle

Making a difference: Volunteering at Friendship Circle

Every Tuesday at five o’clock, I get to make a difference in a child’s life. Whether it’s jumping into a cheese pit, eating a self-made snack, or showing mom and dad their art, the kids with special needs at the Friendship Circle are among the happiest I’ve seen. They get to play with each other and teen volunteers like myself in a welcoming and safe environment. The Friendship Circle offers a unique experience, where one can interact with and learn about a person who is mentally and socially different than them. Over the past three years I have had many “buddies”, but none quite like Jacob, a 6-year-old boy with Fragile X Syndrome. Jacob does not speak and does not participate in activities like the other children. Often times he runs from room to room, picking up objects which catch his eye, and dropping them sometime later. My greatest challenge with Jacob is he always wants to go where he isn’t allowed, and take things he can’t have; his favorite rooms are the storage rooms, closets and coat rooms, and he is fascinated by the luster of bottles and CDs. I feel conflicted when I work with him: on one hand, I need to respect Friendship Circle’s rules by keeping him out of these places, yet I feel guilty for holding him back from the activities he loves. Over time, I have learned to understand Jacob better and overcome some barriers between us. He does not speak, and it took time to get used to the fact that I receive no confirmation when he hears me. Rather than eye contact or verbal response, I have learned to “listen” to his behavioral reactions. I also make a point to talk to him normally and not use a baby voice. Although Jacob doesn’t speak, he understands me perfectly well and does not need to be coddled. Volunteering at the Friendship Circle has changed the way I view people with special needs; they are not mentally disabled, just mentally different. Taking the time to understand someone so unlike me has made me appreciate others for their differences. More importantly, it has also shown me how similar we truly are. Past all the cultural, psychological, and social boundaries, we are all humans who can learn to value one another. Daphna Gadoth is currently a Senior at North Farmington High School. She has been a regular volunteer at the Friends @ LifeTown program on Tuesdays at Friendship Circle.