Elana
Opinion 
I gave my children and family the gift of doing nothing this winter break. Don’t panic or feel sorry for my kids or me even. I didn’t say we did nothing or that I gave them nothing, but we did nothing by our typical standards. My parents have a time share condominium and offered it to us for the vacation break. I did something I have never done before, I took two full weeks off work, packed the kids and my husband and parents up together and off we went 5 hours north of home. This was an extreme luxury, not anything we would normally afford to do nor would we even have considered it typically. Our daughter, Chloe, was home from college, my parents are thank G-d both healthy, and able to join us. My husband is beginning a new job this week after being laid off ten months ago, it was now or maybe never, who knows, it seemed right. Still, the idea of a trip with five children ranging from 4 to 19, two 75+ year old seniors and my husband and I sounds insane in type but it was so great, it was a gift. Our plans? Well, we had none. Our budget wasn’t much either so I cooked, baked, packed and off we went, two cars, one car top carrier and the hope it would not be an epic fail. We would leave behind our work, our calendar, our nanny, our schedules, pictorial calendars, therapies and rigidity. We would embrace something new, something different, a laissez faire if you will attitude. I hoped the stress, pressure and constant clock watching would stay home too.
Five short hours later we arrived to our destination, Harbor Springs, sounds idyllic right? It was. It was so gorgeous, typical Michigan winter cold but the snow was sparkling like crystals and the sky was blue with the sun beaming down. I have lived here my entire life and know full well this is a rare treat, a gift. We unpacked the car, loaded into the condo, divided up the bedrooms and crammed all five girls into one room complete with aero-beds. This was going to be great, or insane. I was hoping for great, and it was indeed.
This part will sound crazy, unreal almost. The first night the adults poured wine, we cooked together and ate on the couch…..the kids had books, a few small travel toys and their beloved Wii. We stayed up later than normal, my parents watched dvd’s with the big girls late into the night. We had NO set routine, NO time for anything that had to be done. We ate when hungry, went to bed when sleepy and laughed aloud a lot. I confess to waking up after the sun rose. It was bliss.
Our 6 year old lives with Autism. She typically lives in a very structured world, one that is dutifully planned out, scheduled and in truth most of our world revolves around what works or won’t work in hers. A trip of any magnitude is not something we rush to do. A trip with a lot of people in a small condo, not my first thought either. But this is where the gift happened. We planned nothing, did nothing really to speak of and well, surprise, Ellie adapted without any noticeable reaction. It was astounding, my mother even remarked how “normal” she seemed. Mind you this is a word that was acceptable in her time J. Our mornings dragged on into afternoons and we were all still in pajamas for lunch most days. We decided what to eat once we were hungry. We did things alone, in a group and at different times of the day, we just hung out. I wondered if Ellie would struggle eating, sleeping or just living among this group. She did the opposite, she thrived. She slept 12-14 hours, she woke up late in the day and ate with gusto. She played Wii with her sisters and grandparents and she laughed aloud, a lot.
This week of nothing has shown us we underestimate her abilities, we over think her needs and perhaps and now know she can do nothing, she can handle free time, she enjoyed it too. My parents shared moments with my children that would never happen here at home, we simply put have too much to do. Ellie sat in my mom’s lap and allowed my mom to comb her hair. This is a first in her lifetime. Upon Ellie’s request, my mother sang the bedtime songs and lead the children in their prayers. Granted, Ellie suggested my mom sang too fast, and corrected her Hebrew when saying the Shema but Nana was requested and invited back for several nights afterwards.
It wasn’t just Ellie who gained something from nothing, my 12 year old, the proverbial middle child had the privilege of staying up late with the big kids and now shares some funny inside jokes, moments and a very odd unusual handshake involving a llama. Mark and I played more games of scrabble in two weeks than either of us has played in a lifetime before. My mom and dad, the 75+ seniors aforementioned, well one of them, my dad went downhill skiing. He hasn’t enjoyed that in many years since having knee replacement surgery, but he did it. Seniors after all ski for free and well, free is free. Our 4 year old skied with him, jumping on the chair lift and going down, just like her Papa and big sisters. I even had the luxury of going out to lunch and shopping date with Chloe, home from college.
It really wasn’t nothing I gave them this holiday, in truth, it was everything. We learned from this amazing everything gift, we are already planning on saving money and thinking ahead for next winter.
True to any good holiday story this one ends on a lovely note as well. My parents shared New Year’s Eve dinner with us here. After a great meal, some bubbly champagne and sparkling apple cider and more Wii my mom combed Ellie’s hair and then sang lullabies to our two younger ones and kissed them goodnight.
Don’t feel as though everything went perfectly, there were moments of stress, life that happened during our vacation. Since home there have been more “moments” but what we learned was the real gift and we will carry that with us until next year when we go up north and do nothing again.
Autism, vacation and change of routine.... am i crazy?
I gave my children and family the gift of doing nothing this winter break. Don’t panic or feel sorry for my kids or me even. I didn’t say we did nothing or that I gave them nothing, but we did nothing by our typical standards. My parents have a time share condominium and offered it to us for the vacation break. I did something I have never done before, I took two full weeks off work, packed the kids and my husband and parents up together and off we went 5 hours north of home. This was an extreme luxury, not anything we would normally afford to do nor would we even have considered it typically. Our daughter, Chloe, was home from college, my parents are thank G-d both healthy, and able to join us. My husband is beginning a new job this week after being laid off ten months ago, it was now or maybe never, who knows, it seemed right. Still, the idea of a trip with five children ranging from 4 to 19, two 75+ year old seniors and my husband and I sounds insane in type but it was so great, it was a gift. Our plans? Well, we had none. Our budget wasn’t much either so I cooked, baked, packed and off we went, two cars, one car top carrier and the hope it would not be an epic fail. We would leave behind our work, our calendar, our nanny, our schedules, pictorial calendars, therapies and rigidity. We would embrace something new, something different, a laissez faire if you will attitude. I hoped the stress, pressure and constant clock watching would stay home too.
Five short hours later we arrived to our destination, Harbor Springs, sounds idyllic right? It was. It was so gorgeous, typical Michigan winter cold but the snow was sparkling like crystals and the sky was blue with the sun beaming down. I have lived here my entire life and know full well this is a rare treat, a gift. We unpacked the car, loaded into the condo, divided up the bedrooms and crammed all five girls into one room complete with aero-beds. This was going to be great, or insane. I was hoping for great, and it was indeed.
This part will sound crazy, unreal almost. The first night the adults poured wine, we cooked together and ate on the couch…..the kids had books, a few small travel toys and their beloved Wii. We stayed up later than normal, my parents watched dvd’s with the big girls late into the night. We had NO set routine, NO time for anything that had to be done. We ate when hungry, went to bed when sleepy and laughed aloud a lot. I confess to waking up after the sun rose. It was bliss.
Our 6 year old lives with Autism. She typically lives in a very structured world, one that is dutifully planned out, scheduled and in truth most of our world revolves around what works or won’t work in hers. A trip of any magnitude is not something we rush to do. A trip with a lot of people in a small condo, not my first thought either. But this is where the gift happened. We planned nothing, did nothing really to speak of and well, surprise, Ellie adapted without any noticeable reaction. It was astounding, my mother even remarked how “normal” she seemed. Mind you this is a word that was acceptable in her time J. Our mornings dragged on into afternoons and we were all still in pajamas for lunch most days. We decided what to eat once we were hungry. We did things alone, in a group and at different times of the day, we just hung out. I wondered if Ellie would struggle eating, sleeping or just living among this group. She did the opposite, she thrived. She slept 12-14 hours, she woke up late in the day and ate with gusto. She played Wii with her sisters and grandparents and she laughed aloud, a lot.
This week of nothing has shown us we underestimate her abilities, we over think her needs and perhaps and now know she can do nothing, she can handle free time, she enjoyed it too. My parents shared moments with my children that would never happen here at home, we simply put have too much to do. Ellie sat in my mom’s lap and allowed my mom to comb her hair. This is a first in her lifetime. Upon Ellie’s request, my mother sang the bedtime songs and lead the children in their prayers. Granted, Ellie suggested my mom sang too fast, and corrected her Hebrew when saying the Shema but Nana was requested and invited back for several nights afterwards.
It wasn’t just Ellie who gained something from nothing, my 12 year old, the proverbial middle child had the privilege of staying up late with the big kids and now shares some funny inside jokes, moments and a very odd unusual handshake involving a llama. Mark and I played more games of scrabble in two weeks than either of us has played in a lifetime before. My mom and dad, the 75+ seniors aforementioned, well one of them, my dad went downhill skiing. He hasn’t enjoyed that in many years since having knee replacement surgery, but he did it. Seniors after all ski for free and well, free is free. Our 4 year old skied with him, jumping on the chair lift and going down, just like her Papa and big sisters. I even had the luxury of going out to lunch and shopping date with Chloe, home from college.
It really wasn’t nothing I gave them this holiday, in truth, it was everything. We learned from this amazing everything gift, we are already planning on saving money and thinking ahead for next winter.
True to any good holiday story this one ends on a lovely note as well. My parents shared New Year’s Eve dinner with us here. After a great meal, some bubbly champagne and sparkling apple cider and more Wii my mom combed Ellie’s hair and then sang lullabies to our two younger ones and kissed them goodnight.
Don’t feel as though everything went perfectly, there were moments of stress, life that happened during our vacation. Since home there have been more “moments” but what we learned was the real gift and we will carry that with us until next year when we go up north and do nothing again. 
