Opinion

5 Tips for a more Neighborly Spirit: Special Needs Style

About five years ago, my husband and I received a letter from an anonymous neighbor regarding the decrepit state of our lawn and its effect on neighborhood home values.  We’ll never win any awards for landscaping maintenance, but our lawn has always been mowed regularly.  We were just too busy parenting - driving our older son to therapy, practicing play therapy at home and soothing one very colicky baby - to make our lawn look perfect.  So we shared a good laugh about the letter and then tossed it.

Maybe laughter is needed again.  There’s an unusually nasty anonymous letter to a family that has a child with autism, and that letter has gone viral.  It’s even being investigated by the police in the Canadian town where it originated.

What I Would Do:

Contacting the police was definitely the right step to take in this situation, but I had a different knee-jerk reaction - to raise awareness for special needs while having some fun.

Here is how I would do it:

1. Put up a giant lawn sign that says, “Honk if you love someone with special needs.”  If that disturbs the peace, try the simpler version, “We love someone with special needs.”  I put up a lawn sign like this every April for Autism Awareness Month - about half of my neighbors enjoy it, and the other half tolerate it...but they can’t un-see it.

2. Host an outdoor sensory integration party, also known as a Messy Party.  Every guest brings a towel, a change of clothes and something very messy to play with that is also biodegradable.  Bird seed, jello, pudding body paint, a can of whipped cream, Mississippi Mud Pie, cornstarch sprinkled on a tablecloth for toy trucks to make tracks on - you get the idea.  Be sure to invite every person with special needs who lives within 10 miles for this event.  Then the whole neighborhood will become instantly aware of special needs.

3. The Canadian letter had leaps in logic and misspelled words that gave me pause.  My favorite part of the letter mentioned backyard “whaling,” which apparently causes pollution of some sort.  This immediately conjured up interesting images in my mind, and gave me an idea for another type of party: a backyard whaling party with foam noodles for harpoons and inflatable beach balls for whales.  Even better if you get a city permit for a block party and move it to the street to raise awareness for special needs while increasing neighborly spirit.

4. Work with your loved one to create a pamphlet to increase awareness.  It’s OK if the pamphlet only contains diagrams of elevators or multiple photographs of a hand holding a leaf or fingerprints in orange paint.  Go door-to-door to introduce your loved one to the neighbors, and give a pamphlet to each home.   If your loved one has received a hate letter concerning his or her disability, consider attaching a copy of it to the pamphlet along with a note saying, "This letter was addressed to your neighbor,  the creator of this pamphlet."

5. The author of the original letter was offended that her neighbor’s grandson was actually outdoors on his grandmother’s property.  So why not start a community event in which everyone goes outdoors at the same hour, stands on his or her own property and raises a toast to the good health of all the neighbors?

That’s the kind of neighborhood I’d like to live in! How about you?