Parenting

New Year's Resolution: Returning our Focus to Family Relationships

Distraction, disengagement and detachment are the plagues of modern life.  But if you love someone who has special needs, then you know that attention, engagement and attachment are the most powerful therapeutic tools available - for speech and social skills, according to author Dr. James MacDonald, family members are the most effective teachers. In 2015, consider making a resolution to be more engaged in order to support natural developmental growth for your loved one.  You may be surprised to find your own happiness growing as well! Here are 10 ways to stay engaged and support developmental goals in 2015.

1. Eat meals together

Families that share meals together are healthier, according to research from Rutgers University.  For families with special needs, meals also provide an ideal opportunity to work on self-feeding skills and social skills.

2. Turn off the phone during meals

The value of a family meal is greatly diminished when attention is given to phones and electronic devices.  If you're not sure what to talk about at the table, try the conversation starters in the Family Dinner Box of Questions.

3. Model conversational behavior

Look at the person to whom you are speaking, orient your body toward the person and use open body language to demonstrate listening skills.  My son is still learning how to do this, but he always notices when my behavior is inattentive.

4. Make texting a family activity

Texting and talking on the phone can become social activities when several people are sharing the phone at once.  Read texts aloud and have others suggest how to respond.  Take funny photos together and send them to more family members.  Teach someone how to send a message and how to make a phone call...and make calls together on speakerphone

5. Get on the floor

Looking at things from another person's perspective is a great way to build a relationship, and that often means getting on the floor and playing together.  Floortime is a type of play therapy based on this principle.

6. Join in a preferred activity

Parents of children with special needs sometimes put too much energy into stopping a repetitive behavior, compulsion or emotionally intense interest.  Unless safety is at risk, this can be a missed opportunity for closeness.  See what happens if you join in counting train cars, riding elevators for fun or spinning a row of plates.

7. Read together

Reading books together on high-interest topics nurtures the family bond.  According to ABC Life Literacy Canada, reading together can stimulate brain development, increase language skills and promote academic skills.

8. Make something together

Whether it's a LEGO building set or a batch of muffins, the act of making something together proves the value of teamwork.

9. Stay active together

Individuals with disabilities are at high risk for health conditions related to inactivity.  Build your relationship by exercising, having fun and enjoying the outdoors together.  Here are 10 tips for pursuing an active lifestyle with special needs.

10. Laugh together

Sharing a laugh can support social skills and general health.  I find that I get excellent eye contact from my children when I poise my hands in the air and say the word, "tickle."  No actual tickling is necessary for lots of laughter. Staring contests and conspicuous hiding are successful, too.  Animal videos online are another source for endless laughter.  Find out how to get the laughs and turn 2015 into a laugh factory! What is your resolution for 2015?